Ardi Listening?

Re: “River bank life of Early Humans,” Past Horizons, Jan. 15, 2012

In speaking of Ardi, Ardipithecus ramidus, some 4 1/2 million years ago, the author states that geological studies of where the bones were found would suggest proximity to a large river. That’s all fine and dandy and fits into my scheme of things quite nicely, but the article finishes with a scandalous assertion: “Based on these two pieces of information, the team suggests that it appears Ardi, who many researchers believe is our oldest found ancestor, lived in a savannah, near fresh flowing water. Some suggest that such an environment would be consistent with learning to walk upright to see over the tall grasses [my emphasis].”

Please. That’s so highly improbable as to be impossible. How come no other animal did so? Because no other animal had to carry tools at the same time. Name me one other primate that went bipedal just because it moved out of the jungle? Or, hell, anyone that stayed in the jungle? There ain’t none.

Upright? Tool carriers. All others? Knuckle grinders. See over tall grass? My left hypotenuse.